I woke up this morning not having to go to school. That's something good about the job, 4 days a week. Although those 4 days...might as well be an eternity. Every day I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet. So I have today "off." In quotes because I am so preoccupied with this damn job, it doesn't feel like a day off. I was up all night thinking about the school and the position. Should I be going back? (at this point, I'm really just thyping. That's cross between thinking and typing...) I mean, I know the answer in a dead poets society, mr hollands opus kind of way is "yes". But, the noble way is not always the easy way. Blah blah blah.
I feel like I shouldn't even be taking the time to write this because I should be learning how to mange control and teach 5 grade levels of german philosophy.oops did I say german philosophy? I mean elementary music. But I feel like I've handed a scalpel and a doctor is saying "Thanks for coming on board. You'd better scrub up. The patient has just started anethesia and we're all waiting for you to perform the kidney transplant. Ready, set, go."
Ok, I guess that's a bit extreme, no one's life is in my hands. But, I am not trained in this. I know I could learn. But that's why I shouldn't be taking the time to write this. I've got to learn real fast if I want to stay in this job.
(Sorry, more thyping)
Another thing to consider (in the "now, just calm down" category) is: I've been hired as a sub for three weeks. That's it. If I do well, and it's a good match, they will hire me on for the year. If it's not a good match, story over. On to the next pressing drama, whatever it might be.
In the immortal words of the illustrious songstress Gloria Gaynor, I will survive.